Arguments, when kept under control, are an important and natural part of relationships. What matters is how you manage your arguments so that you handle them in a helpful way that leaves everyone feeling okay. Parent relationships that have regular and unresolved arguments can affect children emotionally and their future relationships.

When you know how arguments work, you can learn to keep them under control.
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You can think of arguments like a fire.
The logs are the things you argue about most. Even when you're getting on well, the logs are still there. Some common ones are:
  • money
  • friends
  • housework
  • sex
  • children
 The match can be anything that starts an argument. It's often something small:
  • the wrong tone of voice
  • feeling stressed
  • not listening to each other
Once the argument has started, we can make things worse by the way we respond. This can add fuel to the fire, for example by:
  • snapping back
  • walking out
  • bottling things up
  • saying hurtful things
  • bringing up old arguments
There are also things we can do to stop the argument getting worse. This is like putting water on the fire, things like:
  • taking a break
  • listening
  • saying sorry
  • having a hug