Harmful arguments and the effect on our relationships
When we regularly use harmful ways to communicate, it can start to affect our relationship.
To protect our relationships it's important to recognise when we're using harmful communication so we can find a different approach.
Better communication for parents
Criticism in communication
What poor communication looks like:Criticism is not the same as complaining. It's a direct attack on your partner.
'You only think about yourself'.
How you can protect against it:
Try starting a sentence with 'I...' and asking for what you need.
'I was worried last night. I'd like it if you could text me when you're going to be late.'
Contempt in communication
What poor communication looks like:Contempt is when we're deliberately being mean. We might use name-calling, sarcasm or roll our eyes to show we're not interested.
How you can protect against it:
Try to focus on what you love about each other. Look for opportunities to pay each other compliments and do things together that you both enjoy.
Defensiveness in communication
What poor communication looks like:Defensiveness is usually a response to criticism. We deflect blame onto the other person. 'I've been busy. Why couldn't you do it?'
How you can protect against it:
Try to see things from each other's point of view. Take responsibility and say sorry when you're in the wrong.
Stonewalling in communication
What poor communication looks like:Stonewalling is when we get so overwhelmed that we shut down completely, blanking our partner or walking out of the room.
How you can protect against it:
Try to be good to yourself. Take some time out to do something relaxing and enjoyable.
Find more information for parents
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