Social, Emotional and Mental Health

Sometimes children need extra help to manage big feelings or distress.

 All children and young people will have helpful and unhelpful feelings, but when unhelpful thoughts and feelings start to affect their daily life this might mean they need additional support with their mental health. For example, nearly everyone gets anxious before an exam or nervous before lessons they find difficult. If your child is experiencing anxiety all the time and this is affecting their participation in activities or relationships with friends or family they may need extra support.

You can help by working  with the school and any other adults who support your child.

Research tells us that one of the most important factors in helping children feel happy to attend school and make progress is where parents and adults supporting their child in school, work together. 

Children may benefit from predictable routines, positive relationships and helping children and young people feel that they matter.

You can help by working with the school and any other adults who support your child

What support is available in school?

Schools receive Therapeutic Thinking training, which is a whole school approach that supports children to have helpful feelings. Children get daily support in the classroom, as well as targeted interventions where needed. 

Additional support and interventions as part of the school’s graduated approach.

Getting the approach right

Start Early 

It's never too soon to start talking about transitions. Think about what is working well and how this might continue. You can discuss this at annual review meetings, even if your child is not in ‘transition year’.

Arrange visits to new schools as soon as you can.

Think about Wellbeing

The focus of transition planning should be on emotional health and wellbeing and developing feelings of safety and security in their new environment. 

Talk to your child and let them know it is normal to be worried. Encourage them to identify their feelings and think about strategies to mange these – your school may be able to help.

Tell them about a time you have experienced a big change. 

If you are worried about the transition be mindful and keep things as positive as possible.

Make connections

Speak to your child’s new school or class teacher. Find out how your child will get to know the key adults in their new school or class and if there will be opportunities to meet new classmates before they transition.

Be prepared to share information about your child and your family, helping to develop a good shared knowledge of your child to so staff can plan how best to support them when they transition.

Ask your child

Give your child plenty of opportunities to ask questions and share their thoughts and feelings. Your school maybe able to provide resources and activities to help, eg, comic strip conversations.

Visit the new setting

Ask if your child can have extra visits to get to know the environment and meet staff.

Make a list of questions to ask and encourage your child to think about what will be different, such as school uniform, equipment, the building.

Look at the website together. There may be useful resources such as virtual tours, maps and  photographs. Talk to your child about what they are looking forward to or are anxious about.

Understanding emotions

Understanding emotions helps young people recognize, label, and manage feelings. 

If some one is having difficulties with understanding their emotions they may:

• struggle to name how they feel beyond happy and sad, or describe the intensity of an emotion
• not recognise when they are beginning to feel out of control 
• be unable to manage their emotions and their response when they are feeling overwhelmed

How can I help my child understand their emotions?

• Talk to adults who know them well
• Model language they need to describe their emotions, eg  labelling of characters in story books, or on the TV, noticing their facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, and matching this with a ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ face. This can be extended to other emotions depending on their understanding.
• Use a feelings thermometer to help the young person rate how they are feeling at different times of the day. E.g. getting ready for school, arriving at school, English lesson, PE, lunch time, home time.

Self esteem

Self-esteem is how we see and evaluate ourselves. Our self-esteem is developed during childhood and adolescence and is strongly influenced by experiences and the expectations set by parents and teachers.

Self-esteem may affect whether a young person

• likes and values themselves 
• can make decisions and assert their views 
• feels able to try new or difficult things 
• moves past mistakes without blaming themselves unfairly 
• takes the time they need 
• believes that they matter, are good enough and deserve happiness 

How can I support it?

Develop Borba’s 5 key areas of self-esteem:

• Security (a sense of safety and assuredness) 
  • Help them feel safe at home and school by setting clear boundaries and expectations, and encouraging relationships with trusted adults.
• Selfhood (a feeling of individuality) 
  • Help them recognise their unique qualities and strengths
  • Encourage gratitude (e.g. a gratitude jar/ diary for daily positives) 
  • Encourage random acts of kindness 
• Affiliation (a sense of belonging) 
  • Connect a young person with others in their community (e.g. a group of like-minded peers) and meaningful roles (e.g. responsibilities in their school) 
• Mission (a sense of purpose and motivation) 
  • Provide opportunities for them to make decisions and have control 
  • Make activities meaningful (e.g. related to their interests and goals) 
• Competence (a feeling of success) 
  • Explore strengths, recognise success and value positive achievements

How can I help my child with anxiety?

Parents and carers can support a child with anxiety by:

• taking time to listen, offering reassurance and helping them to name and understand their feelings
• maintaining predictable routines, setting realistic expectations and celebrating small successes can help a child to feel safe and confident
• working in partnership with the school to share concerns and agree supportive adjustments is important
• where anxiety is impacting daily life, parents may also find it helpful to seek advice from wider services

I think my child is struggling with their mental health, who can support them?

If you are concerned about your child or young person’s mental health, support is available. 

Talk with your child and share your concerns with their school or setting, who can offer pastoral support and discuss appropriate adjustments. You may also wish to speak with your GP, who can provide advice and consider referrals to specialist services if needed. 

In Dorset, a range of early help and mental health services are available to provide guidance, assessment and support, working in partnership with families to ensure children and young people receive the right help at the right time.

My child is too anxious to attend school - what should I do?

If your child is feeling too anxious to attend school, it is important to seek support as early as possible. Speak with the school to share your concerns and work together to understand what is causing the anxiety. The school may put gradual adjustments or flexible arrangements in place to help your child feel safe and supported. Where needed, advice and support may also be available from wider services, working in partnership with you to help your child re engage with education at a pace that is right for them. 

Find more information and support from Family Action.

I think my child has ADHD - where can I get them assessed?

If you think your child may have ADHD, you can request an assessment through either health services or your child’s school/early years setting. A diagnosis can help you understand your child’s needs but remember you do not need a diagnosis for your child to receive support in school.

In Dorset, referrals are usually made to the Children’s (Paediatric) Development and Behaviour Pathway

This may involve:

• a paediatrician
• a Speech and Language Therapist
• a Clinical Psychologist
• other professionals depending on your child’s needs

How will my child be supported when moving between year groups or schools?

When a child with additional needs moves between year groups or schools, careful planning and clear communication are put in place to ensure continuity of support.

Information about the child’s strengths, needs and successful strategies is shared with the receiving staff in advance. 

Activities to support children may include additional visits, visual supports or meetings with key adults, so the child feels prepared and secure. 

Support plans are reviewed and updated to ensure appropriate provision continues in the new setting, working in partnership with parents, carers and other professionals as needed.